Let’s Not Call Them Resolutions

2011-year-resolution-400x400I’ve been lurking around WordPress and have seen so many blogs with posts regarding New Years resolutions.  I don’t believe in resolutions.  We make these up on the first day of every year just to be forgotten quickly afterwards as one settles back into the humdrum or daily life.  I mean, we rattle these off while still on holiday vacation from work, drunk off champagne and high from sugar cookies and hot chocolate.  Why wouldn’t we think we could rule the world in the upcoming year?  The second week of January arrives, we get busy and complacent and most of us are like “Aw, F-it….at least it was a good idea!”

What is the actual meaning of the word “Resolution”?  This is what google told me:

res·o·lu·tion

ˌrezəˈlo͞oSHən/
noun
  1. a firm decision to do or not to do something.
    “she kept her resolution not to see Anne any more”
  2. the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter.
    “the peaceful resolution of all disputes”

If you notice – the definition actually has a negative connotation.  It has to do with deciding to not do something or resolves around the basis of problems.  .

So, let’s not call them resolutions.  Let’s call them accomplishments….let’s call them goals. What’s the difference?  Goals and accomplishments are positive things.  They don’t have to be about solving a problem or resolving not to do something.  Goals and accomplishments are about doing something new, something worthy….something fulfilling.  They don’t have to be world-changing.  Hell, they don’t even have to be life changing but if I can reach at least one realistic goal that I set for myself in 2014, no matter how small or insignificant, then it will be a good year.

After all of this thought, I actually only have a couple of goals I would like to reach this year.  There’s no need to have a long list and the fewer I have, the more time and effort I can dedicate to reaching each one. I’ll share my list with you and at this time in 2015 you can ask me how I did.

1. Start and maintain a food blog.  I’m always telling my mother she has so many recipes that it would take years and years to possibly make everything she is an expert at making.  She makes a lot of things from scratch and even the things she uses recipes for – she changes and tweaks into something of her own.  Why let these jewels go without sharing?  When I was young, we didn’t have internet, blogs, Facebook, twitter etc. She would write the recipes down and hand them to people.  Now there’s a new world out there for letting everyone else know what a great cook and baker she is and I intend on doing it.  So, after a bit of research and time – this year, I will launch a food only blog and make it official.

cooking-clipart24-cooking-clip-art-cooking-clip-art-5-----best-clip-art-blog-zlh6dqh7

2. Move the family into a bigger house.  We’ve been renting a really nice home for going on 6 years now and we have the world’s best landlords.  They never bug us, never raised the rent, never pop up unannounced, fix anything that breaks and even send us a Christmas gift every year without fail.  But with two kids that were only 10 and 8 when we moved in – who are now teenagers – we’ve outgrown it three times over.  Since the kids have made several friends who live in the area,  the front door mimics the madness of Grand Central at times and it would be really nice to have some extra room where my husband and I can retreat to and actually watch a full length movie or our favorite TV show without being interrupted.  Our lease isn’t up until the fall and I say this every year, but we will move this year.  

images

3. Take a “different” summer vacation. This is one is already in motion.  We have been visiting some area of Florida for every single year except for 2012 when we went to Hawaii.  Even then, it was the same type of vacation…we hung out on the beach for a week.  This is what we do.  Beach, theme park, beach, theme park, beach, theme park on and on…  We wanted to do something different in 2014.  Go somewhere we have never been and do something we have never done.  So California is on the agenda this year thanks to my social media loving children who asked to attend VidCon, the annual convention for YouTube-ers.  We will combine the 3 day convention with a four day driving tour of Los Angeles, Malibu, Hollywood and wherever the road leads us.  It should definitely be an adventure and we are really looking forward to it.

hollywood

That is it for now.  Three goals, three very realistic and tangible goals for my 2014.  I knew way before Dec 31 what my plans were and this is a big reason why I started blogging here again.  It’s always fun to share the ride with others and have a way to document it along the way.  Maybe several will go along with me on this journey, maybe nobody will but sharing it makes me accountable.  I hope you will visit often and see where it goes.  I look forward to good things coming in 2014!

Allergies Chap My Ass

And my nose…. I HATE TEXAS ALLERGIES.  Did I mention that I hate springtime in Texas??

I’m sitting here suffering so much right now a Benadryl overdose wouldn’t even help me at this point.

That’s all, I just wanted to bitch, whine and moan.  Mission accomplished.  ACHOO!

How to Drive Like a Douche

Ok. I must just say it.  The workday rush hour does not carry the spirit of the holidays and that fact was ever so evident yesterday as I drove home from work.  You know how you can just tell someone is a douche by the kind of car they drive and the way they drive it?  I know I’m generalizing here but…c’mon, you know what I mean.  Just take a lesson from Mr. Douchey Doucherton in his little sporty black Lexus whom I had the pleasure of encountering on the road last evening….

1. You know these lanes combine into one….because this road has been this way for at least a year now or more…but don’t….I mean DON’T by any means be polite and let anyone merge.

2. When the lady in the mom-mobile next to you patiently waits her turn to get into your lane with her signal on, glance over and give her a dirty look while quickly moving forward without letting her in.

3. Once on the highway, go extra slow while texting on your iPhone instead of paying attention to the cars in front of you.  Stop short and almost rear end someone since you aren’t looking at the road.

4. When traffic gets heavy and a little slow…weave in and out of your lane…trying to see what is the hold up as if you are going to be able to intimidate the 100 cars in line ahead of you so that they drive faster.

5. Switch lanes repeatedly while speeding when traffic starts to clear up a bit and finally….

6. Give that nice lady in the mom-mobile another dirty look because after all of that….you are now at the exact same stoplight as she is…only she is ahead of you.

And that, my friends….is how to drive like a douche.  Happy Holidays

road-rage-fumes-gas

Muppet Friday?

No not exactly but I just found something on one of my favorite blogs “The Muppet Mindset” that brought the fondest of memories to mind.  It is a post about the 1996 Christmas special – “The Christmas Toy”.  Read the post here.

I don’t know about you, but as a kid I truly and honestly believed that my stuffed animals came “alive” at night or whenever I was not in the room.  I often wondered about the kinds of games they played and the fun that they had during their special time.  Call me crazy, but that was one of the wonders of childhood!

If you haven’t had the chance to see this…. if you have kids — or not — do yourself a favor and watch it.  It will warm your heart and brighten any bad day this Christmas season.  Amazon has it for just over $6.50.  Just one more gem from Jim Henson….it’s definitely worth it!

Women Behaving Badly

While I barely have any time to watch television,  have to admit I am a fan of the Real Housewives shows on Bravo and painfully watch each and every week, without fail. Call it a guilty pleasure but I do really enjoy watching them. Until this week.
Last night I watched my DVR’d Monday episode of the Real Housewives of New York. I’ve been watching this one for years, since the days of Bethenny. Yes, I am a Jill Zarin fan and miss her being on the show. I’m not crazy about the new girls and thought the first few episodes were pretty dull. I was wondering if it was going to pick up any. Well, I was definitely surprised and shocked over the last few. Put aside the petty fighting between looney Ramona and over-dramatic Aviva (which I actually enjoy watching Aviva tell Ramona off) and you get a totally NEW show: Old Girls Gone Wild in St. Barts.

So drunk, I’m surprised she could even form a sentence. (pic from bravotv.com)

I don’t care how they edited it, I was completely disgusted watching the antics of a drunk and halfway naked Ramona , LuAnn sneaking in the local Frenchman and lying about it later and Sonja talking about getting bruises from getting “humped” in the garden by same said Frenchman. Sonja isn’t even married…neither is Carole…why the hell are they even on the show? Isn’t it called Real HouseWIVES? WTF? Ok, so I was disgusted. But I still watched.

 

 

Ramona laughing after Aviva called her and Sonja “white trash” (pic from bravotv.com)

Will I watch next week? Yup. Now I have to see how they deal with everything that happened on vacation. But, I still am in shock over how these women acted. These are grown women with children who should be ashamed of themselves. Maybe they are covering up for their own insecurities and unhappiness. I think both Ramona and Sonja have issues that they feel the need to disguise by acting this way. That is why they get along so well. And to think – they are getting paid BIG BUCKS for this too. Go on vacation, drink until you can’t stand up, get naked, screw the locals and we’ll pay you a few hundred thousand….that’s what Bravo is saying.

I really miss the days of “The Cosby Show” and “Cheers”.  What is this world coming to?

If you watch the RHONY, what did you think? Will you keep watching?

 

I Hate Mondays

Ok, so it’s really Tuesday but because of the holiday…..it definitely IS Monday.  How did your day start today?  Mine wasn’t so good…

The alarm went off at 545am my husband silenced it and reset it for 6…..PM.  So, it didn’t go off again until my second alarm sounded at 633am.  Considering my husband usually leaves for work and drops my son off at football practice by 630am, this was not good.

My son said just the other day “If I’m late, I have to RUN…and I DON’T like running”.  If you have been reading my blog for a while I’m sure you know that my son has a flair for the dramatic.  So, you can only guess how this morning went.  He was convinced he wouldn’t have enough time to dress out and we had a whine fest all the way to school.  I did end up getting him there around 647….even though we forgot extra clothes for after practice.  No shower today.  I apologize in advance for his schoolmates who have to sit next to him in class for the next 8 hours!

Oh, I forgot to mention, today is my husband’s birthday and I didn’t even remember to say “Happy Birthday” to him until I had already been in the office for 45 minutes.  Talk about feeling like poo.

This is me this morning…like my hair?

Then, to top it off….I had this grump customer come into my office to take care of something.  When I made a comment about my eyes being tired (in an attempt to make small talk) he snapped back “I don’t want to hear it!”.  In my head I was like “Excuse me? Are you freaking kidding me?” but I just laughed because I was sure he had to be making a sarcastic joking comment.  Then he says again “No really, I don’t want to hear it!” At this point I wanted to punch him in the face, but I really need this job so I bit my tongue and continued writing.  Then he says he got up at 4am this morning.  Oh, poor baby!  I mean…does he know me?  Does he know how my night went last night?  Nothing bad happened but …he doesn’t know that.  God forbid I had a tragedy to deal with or something that kept me up all night.  Stupid jackholes should just keep their mouths shut. Thanks for ruining my day douchebag.

Exactly.

So, I certainly hope your first day back from the Labor day holiday is going better than mine so far.  Only 4 more days until the weekend….

 

 

I’m Not Like You

I was going to just leave up one post today but I felt the need to vent about middle school parent night yesterday evening.  Let me start by saying, I live in an uber-suburbian area of North Texas.  Think big, blonde hair, bedazzled flip flops and jeans, botox, extraneous amounts of jewelry, Expeditions and fat wallets.  If you know what I mean…

I’m not knocking the neighborhood….we chose to live here.  It’s safe, decent and the middle school is excellent.  The kids aren’t so bad either.  It’s just the parents that drive me nuts.

As I’m sitting there last night trying to somewhat pay attention to a ruthlessly long PTA meeting, I can’t hear a word the lady is saying over the LOUD speaker because of two chatty Cathy dingbat twins sitting directly behind me. I put up with it for a while but finally couldn’t take it anymore and waited out in the hall before visiting my son’s first class. Before I left I took a look around and wondered how I ended up in an episode of the Real Housewives of Dallas.

Before you think I’m being hateful, keep in mind that these opinions and observations are coming from someone who prefers the elusive and long distance web-based relationships within the blogosphere rather than real life, tangible ones.  That is just me. You could call me anti-social, I just call myself careful and selective. At least I’m not fake.  I still have my real boobs, my lips aren’t any bigger than the ones I was born with, I prefer Jason Mraz to Justin Beiber, I don’t own any clothing with sparkles or sequins, I have a few extra pounds on me, I don’t wear much jewelry or makeup and I still shop at Walmart.  Yep, even for….gasp!  Clothing sometimes.

I guess I’m the odd man out.  I don’t dress to impress and I could pretty much care less of what others opinions are of me or my family.  We are good people and we are REAL.  I believe that friends or quality are more important than friends of quantity and that is why I have two best friends (who I call “lifers”) and their families who I hold dear to my heart.  No need to be fake to gain shallow popularity.  Unfortunately as I’m observing many of these parents and overhearing conversations, that’s what seems to be what was going on in that school last night.

In almost every classroom I moved from and to something struck me as funny and pretty much typical of the school’s demographic.  From the father trying to impress his new fellow football parent “friends” by thoroughly describing his entire middle school experience from centuries ago to the mom who somewhat yelled at the Video Tech teacher when he admitted that he was a bit behind in updating his school site.  I wanted to tell the father to shut the hell up, nobody cares and tell the mom to give the teacher a frickin break…it’s only the first week of school for crying out loud!

I just don’t get it.  Maybe I’m not supposed to, and that’s ok.  For now it is humoring me and giving me some great material to use on my blog.  So buckle up and get ready for a bumpy ride as the school year gets rolling…this is gonna be good.  We have football games, choir concerts and band concerts approaching.  I’m sure that I will be dumbfounded and flabbergasted more than once and will want to share it with all of my loyal followers and friends out in Bloggerland who seem to understand all too well!

And just because no blog can be without a picture:

Image

F**k It! It’s Friday

Can I call today “F**k It! It’s Friday” Friday? Because that’s the way I really feel after the week I’ve had.

The weeks leading up to school starting again are exhausting.  In the last few days I have battled the crowds of school supply hungry mothers at Walmart, decided on and ordered new “grown up” furniture for my son’s room and spent all day yesterday with my two arguing children while attending middle school orientation day.  The fact that on most days this summer they have rarely opened their eyes before the afternoon hours and stay awake until witching hour…did not help.

This was me last night (well, I’m not that hairy)

If this is a sign of the months to come, I’m not sure that I will make it to Christmas!  It’s funny how moms of very young children think that the toddler years are hectic and exhausting.  I am officially telling them that IT GETS WORSE.  I wouldn’t mind having little ones again.  The most I’d have to worry about is changing diapers and what kiddie show to watch on TV.

Having children of the ages almost 12 and 14 brings a whole other set of problems.  I won’t even go on that rant but I can tell you that as kids get older, they change.  They change in ways you can’t even imagine.  Hormones are terrible, terrible things and they can make you wake up one day and wonder whose children are living in your house.  I never know what to expect one day to the next.  I also am a firm believer that girls are SO much harder than boys.

Look Familiar?

My son went through a mouthy and somewhat dramatically angry phase when he was around 10-11 years old.  He was a pretty difficult baby/toddler too who always demanded lots of attention.  He still gets the first place drama queen award however he now is easily satisfied (food, video games etc)  and for the most part, very consistent with his attitude.  Once I get past the dirty gym sock smell of his mostly always messy boy room, he’s tolerable.

My daughter on the other hand is like this:

Tick…Tick…Tick..

Or maybe even a little like this:

Who is it today?

Some days I’ve found out that it is best to just keep my mouth shut.  It seems to tame the monster and keep the transformation at bay.  Overall, dealing with a pre-teen girl is like taming a wild horse. I honestly don’t remember being this way when I was young — although my mother might disagree.  I definitely feel more sympathy for my parents now (especially mom) than ever before.

As we enter the last week of summer before all hell breaks loose I will try to visualize my children as they were back in their “cute” stages of calling me mommy and spontaneous kisses before I act on my frustrations brought on by hormone-riddled tantrums (theirs, not mine). Thankfully these days will not last forever…… however this is bittersweet because once they are over, so are their childhoods.

I think I might go home tonight, pour a glass of wine, sit down in front of the TV, poop in my DVD of Elmo-Palooza and have a good cry.

Too Big? I Think So, But it’s Not a Bad Thing!

I was drafting up a Travel Tip Tuesday post and then came across an article in our local news in which a 12-year old boy who is 6’1″ and almost 300 lbs is being told he cannot play football for his city’s Pee-Wee football team because of his size.  Being the mom of a 13 yr old boy who is almost 6′ and weighs 220 lbs, I have to comment on this. OK, he turns 14 next week but still…..

The boy and his mom are upset because he is not being allowed to play with his friends on the Pee Wee team.  Here is the article from Fox:

MESQUITE, Texas –“There’s a battle off the field in Mesquite over a young football player who has been told he’s too big and cannot play.At 12 years old Elijah Earnheart stands over 6 feet tall and weights almost 300 pounds.

For the past three weeks he’s been practicing with the Mesquite Vikings, a Mesquite Pee Wee Football Association team. But on Sunday at a pre-season weigh-in he was told he’s too big and can’t suit up.

The president of the league said the rule is any seventh grader over 135 pounds is barred and must play in the school league.

Elijah’s size hasn’t prevented him from playing football until now. And he and his mother said he’s not ready to go up against kids with years of playing behind them.

“I don’t want to play in school right now because it’s people that’s had experience and I want to get some experience first and then start playing,” he said. “I just want to play because my teammates are my friends. I know them. I don’t want to go play for somebody else I don’t know.”

Coach Marc Wright is protesting the decision. He said there are a lot of seventh graders over the weight limit and they are being allowed to play.

“If they’re over 135 they have to wear a symbol on their helmet, which is the X. So if they’re an X-man they have to play offensive line, defensive line only,” he said.

Elijah’s mother, Cindy Earnheart, also plans to protest with painted signs and shirts that say, “Let Elijah Play.”

“For him to come home and just cry and go to his room and say, ‘I give up.’ I’m not going to let him give up. This is his dream. This is what he wants to do. And I’m going to make it happen,” she said.

But Mesquite Pee Wee Football Association President Ronnie Henderson said rules are rules. He said several other players were barred Sunday night for the same reason and the X-man exemption Wright referred to only applies to elementary school players.

“The coach over there should have known this. He’s been told this. He’s been to our meetings. He knows this. I don’t know where the misunderstanding was. We hate it. I don’t like it for the kid or the parents,” he said.

Henderson said he would look into the allegations that there are other seventh graders over 135 pounds playing in the league.”

What are your thought on this?  I personally think that the association is right in not allowing children of his size to play in the pee-wee league.  Just like my son, there is nothing pee-wee about him. At their size, they could hurt other kids smaller than them.  However, I do feel bad for the boy that he was allowed to go to practices for the last few weeks and then is being told that he cannot play.  Everyone, including the mom too, should’ve been aware of the rules before it got to this point.  They have to be realistic and know that he could unintentionally hurt other children who are smaller than him.  Anyone who has watched a pee-wee or middle school football game knows that there is a wide variety of sizes and shapes out on the field.
If it were me, I wouldn’t let it discourage my child.  This boy will have unlimited opportunities to be successful at football as he gets older.  Coaches drool over kids his size.  As longs as he does well in school, he will be drowning in college scholarship offers and coaches scooting him for their college teams.  This child’s mom should be encouraging him and letting him know that he has a very bright future in football if that is where his heart is, no matter where he plays right now or who he plays for.
I would love to hear your thoughts on this but please — be mindful.  I was reading some of the comments on the Fox news website and couldn’t believe the amount of stupidity out there.  One person actually said “How can a 12 year old actually be this size?”  Really?  That made me angry.  The person who wrote it probably doesn’t even have kids.
It’s not like we’re feeding our kids growth hormones or even Wheaties for them to be “this size”.  I’m 5’2″  myself but my husband is 6’2″ and his dad’s side bred big boned, large structured people.  It just so happened that our son got his family’s genes and not mine (my daughter got my genes…thank goodness it wasn’t the other way around!). I have to strain my neck just to look up at my 8th grader!
I love that he’s a big, strong kid.  He used to be teased in elementary school for his size but since growing into himself, nobody messes with him now and he is proud of who he is.  The praise and encouragement that he gets from his coaches on the football field also helps to strengthen his self esteem.  He is my big teddy bear because under all that, he’s got a HUGE heart too and that’s all that matters.

Rant: Why I Dislike Victoria Beckham

While watching the closing ceremonies last night I had a spontaneous angry outburst when the Spice Girls appeared.  “Why won’t she smile for the love of God???” Yup, you know who I’m talking about.  Posh Spice herself, Victoria Beckham.  If you watched the show, you would’ve noticed that she didn’t get much camera time but in the shots in which she was included, she’s doing a whole lotta nuthin while her group-mates are rocking it up.  There is one shot where the other girls are dancing, smiling and singing to each other and she’s just standing there like a mannequin.  Seriously?  That had to have been awkward for the other girls.

I’ve heard that she was borderline “forced” to do the short reunion spot at the ceremony and only under the pretense that nobody ever ask her to join them on stage again.  I think maybe she was jealous that she wasn’t asked to do the fashion/runway bit instead.

Does this disdain for her come from the fact that I am jealous you ask?  Maybe — but only over one thing:
I’m sorry, but can someone explain to me why when you are married to this:

You have to always look like this:

I bet she’d feel a lot better if somebody fed her something.