Rave: I’m Blushing!

I have to say that when I started this blog a few months ago it really was just a way to document and share my family’s travel experiences along with a few of my homemade recipes.  There was a point where a light bulb went off and it dawned on me that I could share just about anything in regards to my mundane, everyday life and it would be entertaining.  Why?  Because it seems like for the Dockerys, there is never a dull moment.

I did enjoy English class and I used to classify myself as a pretty good writer.  It does seem however, that if you don’t use it, you lose it because compared to the majority of the blogs that I read on a daily basis, my writing is similar to that of a first grader.  I’m sure that I will never make the NY Times best seller list or win a nobel prize but if I can just make one person laugh or smile while they are reading my blog, then it makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something.  My blog is also a journal of sorts and I love the fact that I can go back and relive my family’s memories over and over again.

So, the point that I am getting to is that I was uber-excited when I received two blog awards (the Versatile Blogger Award and the Beautiful Lipstick Award) from Lorna of Lorna’s Voice .  I really have never given much thought to my blog as being award-worthy!  Thank you Lorna, I am truly flattered and because of this, I’m inspired to do some research into how I can be a better blogger.  Your blog is one of the first that I started reading when I became a member of the blogging and WordPress communities.

I also thank all of my readers and followers that you choose to come back to my blog time and time again to see what crazy s*** I have to say!

From the bottom of my heart!

Travel Tip Tuesday: Don’t Be a Douche

My travel tip this week is simple….just don’t be a douche!  I can’t tell you how many morons we encountered during our travels last week.  From the lady who barfed on my kid to the flight attendant who was yelling at my son to keep his window closed on the flight home.  It truly takes all kinds.  The rampant stupidity and complete disregard for others that is obvious everywhere makes me laugh at humanity and fuels my sense of humor.

Please, use some common courtesy and common sense when travelling — or really — ALWAYS.  Your fellow humans will thank you!


Flight Fails

Thank goodness for WordPress for iPhone, I am able to document in real time what’s going on in this plane. If anyone knows the Dockerys, they know that nothing can be simple, easy or without some form of “excitement”. This trip is already turning out to be no different.
After boarding the plane and getting comfy (or as comfy as you can be in a sardine can) in our seats, the pilot announces that during the walk thru they discovered a hydraulic leak in the braking system. No bueno. He says that they have to get the part and replace it so the delay looked to be at least an hour. He says that all the remaining flights to LA are fil so we just have to “sit tight”. Them thar sound like fightin words….
I have to admit I’m impatient and I can have a short fuse when you are messing with my vacation…my very expensive vacation. So I had already planned out in my mind the scene I would cause in the event that we didn’t make our connection in LAX to HNL. Needless to say I had to put those thoughts aside when after about 30 minutes the pilot announced that the work was complete. They must have some Houdini’s working in AA maintenance. In fact, I know they do, my dad did that job for nearly 40 years.
Now to the “best” part….as I write this we are about an hour or so into the flight… My daughter taps my shoulder and points at her lap. I look down and see something liquid-like and chunky on her lap. I’m like wtf is that? (minus the f, insert “heck”) She points behind us and I look at her armrest, seatbelt and seat which is covered in…yup you got it…vomit.
The lady behind us apparently had a projectile moment and completely missed her barf bag target. I don’t know how I kept so calm but I went directly into mommy mode and whipped out the antibacterial Lysol wipes I had brought in my purse. Here I was cleaning up a strangers puke. All those hotel management classes about pathogens and bodily fluids suddenly came to memory.
The flight attendant, bless his heart was SO upset. He gave us towels soaked in soapy water, plastic bags to stuff in between the seats and fought with the first class flight attendant to give us a few of the highly coveted, secret blankets made of gold. Well, not quite made of gold but you’d think they were by the way he had to beg for them for his lowly coach passengers! He also gave us free snacks (not that I had much of an appetite after this escapade) and kept apologizing profusely as if he were the one that puked! I told him there was nothing I can do about it, it happens. I haven’t even had any alcohol yet. I’d say I’m doing pretty good.
LAX in about an hour or so now! Hopefully the next flight is I uneventful and vomit-free.

Amber wrapped in plastic bags and blankets!

Nowhere Is Safe

I don’t really have anything fun or happy to post about today, as last night’s shooting in CO really has me shook up. My husband, my mother, my son and his best friend went to the midnight premier of Batman last night in our city.  When I think that this could’ve happened anywhere — could’ve happened to them — it gets hard to breathe.

It makes me wonder, as a parent, how am I able to protect my children and my family from these dangers?  Horrible events like these that have no justification or reason?  How do I protect them from the absolute evil that plagues our world in this day and age?  I guess at some point I have to sit back and say “I can’t”,

The only way I can understand what happened last night in that CO movie theater is to think that the Devil surely is alive and well on this earth.  He’s taking up residence in weak and feeble minds to have them carry out his dirty work.  I pray that the legions of God’s angels surround my family, friends and loved ones and continue to keep us safe as they fight the battle against evil.  This is all I can do.

My prayers go out to the families of the dead and injured as well as those who survived but will be forced to deal with the trauma of what they experienced for the rest of their lives.  May God give them comfort and healing and welcome the deceased into his Kingdom with love and grace.

I have to thank God for every day that we are blessed to live and wake up to face another.  Nothing is guaranteed in this world, not even life.

Where are my “peeps”? (Mini Rant)

So as I’m browsing and reading across the blogosphere today I come to a very sad and lonely realization which deserves a mini-rant.

I had my kids young. Not young anymore, I’m 35 now.  My son is almost 14 — my daughter almost 12. They will both be in middle school this year.  Gone are the days of elementary school parties, PE, parent teacher conferences and Easter Egg hunts.  Instead, our school year is full of football games, band practices, homework battles and the normal struggles of dealing with two very different hormone-laden kids. And to make me really feel old…my son stands about 10 inches taller than me already and outweighs me by at least 80 lbs. 

As I visit other woman-written blogs throughout the day I realize that everyone is having babies!  Tons of talk about diapers, feedings, firsts, cute baby moments, sleepless nights and the like.  Where are my fellow mothers to teenagers?  Are we all just too busy to blog? 

I have nothing against the mommy bloggers out there who have little ones, I’m just feeling lonely.  I would love to read about the lives of mom’s like me that are entering what I call the “Challenge Years” and dealing with teenagers.  Moms I can identify more closely with. Unfortunatley I haven’t found too many blogs like that.

I loved my kids baby/toddler years.  It might seem like they are difficult to deal with at the time but as I warn friends of mine….it doesn’t get any easier unfortunately.  If anything I think it gets harder.  One set of worries and concerns get replaced with a whole new set.  One thing never changes no matter how old our kids get — that we are their parents and will always feel the need to take care of them…..forever.

That’s all, I just needed to say that. Have a Happy Wednesday!

Justice For Bucky – Arlington Cop Kills Small Dog – Galoor.com

Today I am going to take a break from my normal, fun and humorous posts and go with something serious. 

I shared an article last month written by Clint Lenard of Galoor.com about Cisco, a friendly and loving family dog shot and killed in front of his owners by a police officer who showed up at the wrong house while answering a call.  Ever since hearing about this tragic event, more cases of police-dog brutality has come to light.  So many that you would be amazed.

If while reading about these, you think that the cops involved had any right to do what they did — due to the dog being large and/or “ferocious”, please read below, another one of Clint’s articles.  About a dachshund…..that’s right….a tiny little weenie dog.  I don’t know about you but this just disgusts me and it disgusts me even more that these egotistical maniacs who consider themselves big, tough men are still employed on the force and given no more than a slap on the hand.

Justice For Bucky – Arlington Cop Kills Small Dog – Galoor.com.

Massage Anxiety

Have you ever gotten a full body massage?  Well I got my very first one yesterday and honestly, I don’t see what all the hype is about. 

 As I get older, I am developing little idiosyncrasies that I never had before.  One of them is that I do not like to be touched by people I don’t know.  Sometimes this is the case even with people I do know, unless they are family.  It gives me anxiety.  So, maybe a full body massage was not something I should’ve volunteered for.  It was offered as a complimentary perk from my full-time job and since everyone rants and raves about how “awesome” massages are, I thought I should go ahead and try it.

My nervousness began much earlier in the day even before I left the office.  I had made pasta with brussel sprouts and garbanzo beans for dinner the night before.  Not to be gross, but that is a dangerous combination in itself, nevermind the fact that my body tends to handle those foods with “explosive” results and usually at the most inoppertune times.  I thought, “oh shit” (no pun intended)….tummy please, please don’t fail me now.  My therapist would be direclty in the line of fire and I wasn’t looking forward to explaining that one to the authorities.

 The massage was at a 5 star spa near where I live and work.  It was 45 minutes and I had asked for a female therapist.  As I’m in the locker room getting “changed” into the robe they provide, these 2 very loud ladies walk in and proceed to just stand there behind me discussing their manicures with one another. I’m standing there, trying to get naked and me, being self-conscious would rather not have them as an audience.  I turned around and gave them a look but they just didn’t get it.  So I did this Houdini-quick-change- move, was in my robe quickly and high-tailed my butt out of there to sit and wait for my therapist to come get me.

 They had arranged a fruit and cheese platter with wine to be brought into the waiting area.  That was nice as I was able to relax a little with a glass of red.  Before I could finish it, I was called to go back to the treatment room but they told me I could bring it with me.  My therapist was a very nice, younger asian lady.  She was smaller than me and I thought, “really? How in the world is she going to do this?”.  On the way to the room she held her hand lightly on the back of my shoulder as we walked.  Hereby commenced the uncomfortable-ness.  When we got to the room she explained how to lay down, where to put my head etc.  She left for a moment as I got on the table and under the sheet.  I felt like I was preparing for a major surgery, just waiting for the anesthesia.  She came back in and then it began.

 The sound of the massage oil being squirted out of the bottle onto her hands reminded me of the sound that the KY Jelly makes right before being examined at the gynecologist.  So much for relaxation. I know that I was a ball of tension the entire time she did my legs, as all I could think of was how close she was getting to my private parts with every rub, push and pull.  As she did my feet all I could think was “I wonder if they are clean?  I wonder if she’s ever had to massage people with really dirty, smelly  feet?  I’m glad I wore sandals today..etc.” My mind was racing with all these weird and random thoughts.

 She began working on my back and shoulders which was the best part of the 45 minutes I was on that table.  I did have a lot of tightness in my shoulders, especially around the shoulder blades and it felt good to have her work on that.  Of course I couldn’t relax completely because I started wondering how in the world people like massaging other people for a living.  I cringe when even my husband asks for me to massage his neck.  It’s too tiring…I wonder how their arms don’t end up falling off after an hour.

 Then it was flip time.  She started on the front part and there she went with the legs again….ugh.  The thoughts started and I couldn’t relax.  She did the tops of my shoulders and behind my neck.  I kept thinking “I hope that oil doesn’t get in my newly dyed hair.” and “I wonder if this oil is going to make me break out on my neck?”.  Multiple attempts to find my inner peace were not successful.  I think it took a permanent vacation.

Finally after what felt like an eternity it was over.  She said “How was your first massage?” to which I replied “Great, it was great thank you!” I just didn’t have the heart to say otherwise.  I made it through the entire 45 minutes without any fiber-related issues and I was relieved; I just wanted to finish my wine and dive into the cheese and crackers back in the waiting room.  Which I did as soon as I got back there.

On my way home,  my mom called to ask me how it was.  I told her that it was ok…I don’t see how people pay hundreds of dollars for them.  I would never do that.  Then the conversation got out of hand…


Mom: Was the therapist nice?

Me: Yes, she was nice

Mom: Was there a lot of chopping and slapping going on?

Me: Ugh, Ma this was at a 5 star spa not at a place on the corner or Harry Hines in Dallas; it wasn’t that kind of massage!

Mom: Oh, well they always do that on TV

Me: *sigh*

Travel Tip Tuesday – Airline Security..hurry it up!

Since I’ m getting ready to get on  a plane in 12 days, I lay awake most nights now thinking about packing and the easiest way to get through security at the airport.  No, really….I do lose sleep over it.  Airport security is one of the most stressful parts of flying to me(besides takeoff and landing) even though I know that it is very important for everyone’s safety.  My pet peeve is being behind a person, or even worse…a whole family, who is not prepared and takes 5 times longer than it should to get through the check.  I totally understand that there are people in this world who have never flown before but really….do your research before you fly!

So, here are a few things I think are important to know and be aware of before going through that dreaded airport security check:

  • Pack your “liquids” before you get to the airport on the TOP area of your bag – I like to have my little quart size bag full of my 2ozcontainers packed on the very top of the inside of my bag so I can pull it out quickly to be put in the bin.  Nobody enjoys waiting while you fumble through the bottemless pit you call your suitcase looking feverishly for your liquid items….be READY.  Oh, and no…that 50 oz can of hairspray is NOT allowed….even if you paid $20 bucks for it.

    $4 at Walmart…splurge a little

  • If possible, wear sandals or “easy off” shoes – What I mean by “easy off” is a pair of shoes that won’t take extraneous amounts of time or energy to remove.  Just slip them off and put them in the bin!  Yes, Marilyn Manson, I’m talking to you.  I personally remove my shoes while I’m waiting in line to have my ID checked.  If you don’t like dirty airport floors…wear socks and stop your bitchin.
Not the best idea…
  • Go visit a CoinStar before you arrive at the airport – I die a little bit each time I’m waiting in line behind the person who has $200 in pennies stashed away in his pockets.  Really…what is the point of this?  Does anyone even pay with cash anymore?
  • Check your gynormous bag– I hate to break this to you but your 60″x72″ 50 lb bag will NOT fit in the overhead compartment nor under the seat in front of you.  No matter how much you kick, stuff, push or shove it into the measuring tool – IT WILL NOT FIT.  I know the airlines charge for checking bags nowadays but damn…you are going on a 10 night caribbean cruise full of caviar and bottles of Dom.  Go crazy, splurge a little….spend the $25 and check your freakin bag. 
Don’t break it
  • Dont touch other people’s bags – This one is important.  I hate having my luggage go through before me.  I’m always afraid someone is going to pick up the wrong bag and take my suff with them to China.  So, please don’t touch my bag — if you are trying to be helpful, thank you but I can do it myself.

Yup, this is you.

  • Give me some space – This one makes me borderline violent.  I have a bubble.  That bubble forms around me in about a 2-3 foot radius.  If you are standing in that vicinity I might just “happen” to punch you in the face — which, would get me detained and I wouldn’t make my flight.  I really need a vacation so please….stand back, give me my space and don’t tempt me.  I can stand on my own 2 feet just fine, I don’t need you to stand on them too and I promise you will get through the line just as fast.

I’m sure there are more annoying things that I have dealt with while in line for airport security but these are the things I stress about.  I’m really not this much of a bitch BUT when it comes to travelling I can be.  I’m already stressed enough about flying 35,000 feet in the air over an ocean, strapped into a 400 ton “machine” , with nowhere to escape while having to breathe in other people’s germs and body odor.  Will someone just give me some wine I can wash this Xanax down with?  Thank you.

What about travelling puts you on edge?

Rant: Yes, I feel bad for Tom Cruise

I hope everyone had a very happy and safe Independence Day.  I spent mine with the fam soaking up some rays at the pool and ending the day with a nice firework show. 

I really had no idea as to what to blog about today.  I’ve been reading a lot of the media hype surrounding the surprise divorce between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes and it seemed like a relevant topic especially because I have my own opinions about it.  Bash me if you may, but I am feeling very sad for Mr. Tom Cruise right now. 

Putting aside his religious choice or the fact that he is one of the most famous actors in Hollywood; he is still human and what Katie did to him has to hurt like hell.  There was an article that came out in People magazine about a week or two before Katie anonymously filed for divorce in New York City in which all he could do was express his love for her, and Suri and state how happy he is to be with them.  Was it all fake or a cover up for underlying pain?  Maybe, but I don’t think so.  I think they were truly the words of a man who loves being a husband and a father who had no idea what he was about to endure.

Happier Times

I think what makes it heinous is the fact that Katie had been planning this for a very long time behind Tom’s back.  Sources say that she and her father had rounded up attorneys, changed out her cell phones and moved belongings into her new NYC apartment.  I found it interesting that she is blaming her reason for this on Tom’s preference for Scientology.  C’mon Katie the whole world knows that Tom is a practicing and very faithful Scientologist….didn’t you know this when you married him?  Did you think he was going to want your kid raised Catholic?  Really?  Can you say that in the 7 years you were together, this subject never came up?  Unbelievable and incredibly stupid.

I think what Katie did was horrible, mean and downright nasty.  I think she married her “crush” and now it was becoming all too real.  No more fairytale and she panicked.  Instead of talking to her husband about her concerns or attempting to work things out, she cowards out and has divorce papers presented to him while he is out of the country!  Of course all we know about Ton Cruise is what we see on TV and read in the papers however he has made no secret about how much he loves Katie and Suri.  From what is out there, they were his whole world.   

If it is true what they say about Karma, then Katie is in for it for sure.

Rave: Frankenweenie ’84 vs Frankenweenie ’12

I wonder if I am one of the only people who remember the original Frankenweenie made in 1984.  I was 8 and I loved it.  When I found out earlier this year that a remake was coming out and was being done by no other than my favorite film maker Tim Burton, I was ecstatic.  

Who better to remake this film than Burton?  It has his name written all over it.  I’m sure this is going to be a smash and I’m really looking forward to it.  For those of you who never saw the original, I found it in full length on YouTube.  It’s posted here for your viewing enjoyment!

Here is the new 2012 trailer: