Straight Up, I Told Her

Good Thursday to you!  I was too busy to get a post out yesterday but I know that some of you have asked me to tell you my Paula Abdul story…..so, here goes.

This was about 5-6 years ago and I was working as an overnight manager of an airport hotel.  Around 1130pm I got this call and the caller said “This is Paula Abdul, my flight was cancelled and I need a room for the night”.  In my head I was like….yeah right…Paula Abdul…ha ha.  I asked her to repeat herself and she said it again, but this time she sounded agitated.  I told her ok and that we would get a room ready for her.  I asked what time she would be arriving, she told me around midnight.  I asked if she needed a pick up at the terminal but she stated that she had a driver.

So, I phoned some people and had one of the large suites prepared for her.  Midnight came and left…then her driver pulled up at near 230am.  I went to the front door to meet her and she came in with some blond, young girl who seemed to be her assistant.  The blond was carrying some stuff for Paula and she looked all disheveled.  Paula on the other hand wasn’t carrying a thing.  Let me say….Ms. Paula looked R-O-U-G-H.  She had hardly any makeup on and I could barely recognize her.  The first words out of my mouth were “Hi Paula…it’s nice to meet you… you…look…ugh..umm…tired.”  Immediately in my mind I heard Homer Simpson’s voice – DOH!

I didn’t really even get a response…she just said all snotty-like, “Where’s the bellman with my bags,  I want to go to my room”.  We will call the bellman “S”.  S was coming in with her bags and I just made eye contact with him and mouthed the words “please take her upstairs”.  He helped her upstairs and within a few minutes came back down and said that Paula wanted (uh, demanded) hot tea.  The eating outlets had all closed for the night so I went to the kitchen, found some tea and made it for her.  As I was on my way to the elevator with the tea, my coworker said that she had called down and said she didn’t want it anymore, she just wanted to go to bed.

About an hour later, it was time for S to deliver the morning newspapers.  I received a call from the service elevator landing from S and he said “You have to come up here right now, we have a situation.”   I went up to the floor in which Paula was staying and from the elevators you could hear screaming and cussing all the way down the hallway.  Now mind you, her room was at the very end of the hall…opposite the elevators and we could hear her.

What’s that Paula? You lost your medication?

S and I walked to her door and heard her saying “How dare you!  You are supposed to be my f*ing manager!”  “I hate you!  F you!” “I’ll f*ing fire you!” and all sorts of other colorful stuff.  She was crying and screaming at the same time.  At this point I’m wondering what has become of her poor assistant!

I had thought about knocking and asking her to be quiet for the sake of the other guests around her but I hadn’t received any complaints yet so I thought I should wait it out.  Eventually it quieted down up there.  Around 630am she called down to the belldesk and asked for S to come get her bags. It was time for S to go home for the day but she had asked that only he assist her in the morning, so he was waiting for her call.  He went upstairs and knocked on the door.  The assistant opened the door and when S said he was there to bring their bags down, Paula (who was half naked) ran by the door yelling “What is he doing?? I’m not ready yet!  Tell him to leave!” S was like “WTF??”  So….he left and came down to tell me what happened.  By this time S was pissed beyond words.  This crazy biatch had called to ask for help and then screams at him to leave when he gets up there.

She finally called again and said he could now come to get the bags.  S went up and then came down and loaded the bags into the hotel van.  Shortly after…here comes Paula off the elevator all freaking out saying “Where’s S?  Where’s S?  I need to go…I need to leave…where is he?”  Getting louder and louder and borderline crazy.  I told her to calm down and not worry…S was already waiting for her in the van with her bags.  I escorted her out to the van and said a prayer for S.

When he got back he told me that she was a total witch in the car.  He had some old classic rock radio station on and she demanded that he change the channel because she “didn’t like that music”.  I thought that was ridiculous because it literally was a 3-4 minute drive from the hotel to the terminal.  By the time all this was over, it was quitting time and we were left with this cool story to tell.

I don’t mean to start rumors or anything but I seriously think Paula was on something that night.  Her actions were too ridiculous to be “normal”.  I guess fame really does have it’s consequences!

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Women Behaving Badly

While I barely have any time to watch television,  have to admit I am a fan of the Real Housewives shows on Bravo and painfully watch each and every week, without fail. Call it a guilty pleasure but I do really enjoy watching them. Until this week.
Last night I watched my DVR’d Monday episode of the Real Housewives of New York. I’ve been watching this one for years, since the days of Bethenny. Yes, I am a Jill Zarin fan and miss her being on the show. I’m not crazy about the new girls and thought the first few episodes were pretty dull. I was wondering if it was going to pick up any. Well, I was definitely surprised and shocked over the last few. Put aside the petty fighting between looney Ramona and over-dramatic Aviva (which I actually enjoy watching Aviva tell Ramona off) and you get a totally NEW show: Old Girls Gone Wild in St. Barts.

So drunk, I’m surprised she could even form a sentence. (pic from bravotv.com)

I don’t care how they edited it, I was completely disgusted watching the antics of a drunk and halfway naked Ramona , LuAnn sneaking in the local Frenchman and lying about it later and Sonja talking about getting bruises from getting “humped” in the garden by same said Frenchman. Sonja isn’t even married…neither is Carole…why the hell are they even on the show? Isn’t it called Real HouseWIVES? WTF? Ok, so I was disgusted. But I still watched.

 

 

Ramona laughing after Aviva called her and Sonja “white trash” (pic from bravotv.com)

Will I watch next week? Yup. Now I have to see how they deal with everything that happened on vacation. But, I still am in shock over how these women acted. These are grown women with children who should be ashamed of themselves. Maybe they are covering up for their own insecurities and unhappiness. I think both Ramona and Sonja have issues that they feel the need to disguise by acting this way. That is why they get along so well. And to think – they are getting paid BIG BUCKS for this too. Go on vacation, drink until you can’t stand up, get naked, screw the locals and we’ll pay you a few hundred thousand….that’s what Bravo is saying.

I really miss the days of “The Cosby Show” and “Cheers”.  What is this world coming to?

If you watch the RHONY, what did you think? Will you keep watching?

 

A Nose by Any Other Name…

Which is loveliest in a nose? Its coy beauty when it’s budding, or its splendour when it blows?
George Barlow

Or maybe it didn’t quite go that way…..

I’m having issues this morning.  Not only am I posting on  Sunday, which I never do, but this blogroll contest has completely taken over.  I think I’m in the early stages of delirium and like West Nile….there is no cure.  With every glance and every look I saw clown noses….this were starting to creep me out when I looked around the house and saw this:

And this:

Then I turned on the TV:

Even the NJ girls have it

Is that a clown nose their kicking around?

Oh no, not you too Paula!

Then I thought “I’ll settle this…once and for all…” and went to google.  I typed in “He who must not be….”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need to be de-clowned!!

Today’s challenge conjured up by Saradraws was to post a truth or dare for Le Clown to partake in.  This was most difficult.  It is the final challenge.  Yes, I said FINAL.  Meaning tomorrow all the fun will be over and I will learn my worth in this world by measure of whether or not I was granted a spot on the blogroll.  Ok, maybe I’m not quite that obsessed but it sure would feel good!  If you have a great dare you can think of, read the rules first, then post away under the comments!

Thank you for supporting me this week and watching me go slowly “clowny”.  I have a strange urge to put on face paint and big shoes….but…oh well, there’s nothing wrong with that right?

WTF Is That?

I had decided not to post today because I’m just too exhausted and have no brain power to write.  BUT that all changed about 30 minutes ago when I discovered the most disturbing of all God’s creatures.  Which, I’m still not totally convinced it isn’t a spawn of the Devil….

A client at the place in which I work had mentioned seeing a “Potato Bug” last night.  I was pretty sure no such thing exists because I’ve never heard of it before in my life.  So to prove that I was right (as I normally am) I did what we all do and Googled it.  Now, I hope you have all relieved your bladders and finished lunch because you will never believe what I found.  Not only do they exist but they look like this: